Suppress

How much negative feeling can a person actually hold within themselves? I strongly believe it depends on oneself. What’s the reason for one to actually suppress these feelings within themselves? That I would say is for shielding it from other people so they are not affected. Is it wrong to do so? I would say no.

People very naturally will feel positive and also negative feelings. Some will choose to express it all out while others will keep it. There’s a limit to how much a person can handle and when that limit is reached, well one will have to express it out somehow whether through actions or verbally.

Of course there’s a border before reaching the limit and the border will of course have a little sign but cross the border and there’s no turning back. Very naturally people will do things or tell people to bring themselves away from the limit again for example through talking to people and blogging.

Sometimes suppression of emotion is not a bad suggestion

Yu

Experience

I guessed I skipped one day. Wasn't that free yesterday with the 'larian merdeka' and the badminton finals. The badminton finals was really disappointing with Chong Wei not performing up to his own standards. Now, as I've written in my previous post I'll post up photos so here we go.

Here are some pictures from my job on Friday

Look at the tables, that's our job

And here's me posing with the tables

That's how we went, back of lorries or truck. They're in the truck, I was in the lorry in front.

The job was a pretty good experience with the lorry seating, seeing how they manage the table arrangement, seeing how they do such a big scale team building event, seeing there are many not so smart people and other stuff I can't recall right now. Compared to what you learn living and everyday life, it's much more educational.

Yesterday the 5KM run was a pretty fine experience. Obviously I was far from winning but well, as a person who don't train I'm pretty good. This two year I've been trying out every new experience I can. Through these new experience I get to change into who I am now. I'd stay in the static unnoticed person if I were to not change. But it's okay. Although I've missed a few years, I've change and I get to have things going now.

Pursue for experience and experience the change

Realized

From the post before my tag post until now a few very memorable things happened. First would be me, Jun Hsien, Zhen Ming, Jerrard, Jazli and Nicholas going to Taylors College Subang Jaya for a career talk. And then, the unforgettable thing that happened when I was parallel parking happened. No, I didn’t scratch my car even though I have slight difficulty with parallel parking due to my lack of parallel park experience. Well, something fell down from the sky onto my windscreen, tak! Do notice it’s a ‘tak’ sound not a ‘piak’ sound. The unknown object then fell onto the floor. Well, my first reaction was look at my window, see it dirty wipe before parking my car properly. Window is more important.

So what is this unknown object? We then found out, it’s actually a piece of chicken. See how wondrous the world is. Even chicken meat can fall from the sky. It gives us a very valuable lesson and a very good laugh in the end. Even the most unexpected things can happen to you at any time at all. And the joke, well the whole thing is the joke. Then comes the talk, well it didn’t actually make me want to get into the job instead make me want to reconsider more. Well, I’m not sure if it can get me where I want and what I want.

Next thing in the list, the RM50 job I did on Friday. It’s a very normal carry tables and chairs and set then up kind of job but we get to go to DIGI company campus. Not anyone can go in. It’s good to at least get in there and get some pictures. Well, the ‘we’ was Daoshen, Kin Meng, Fong Foo, Wen Chiang, Kar Sing, Chee Ken (The one who offered us the job) and well, me. It was a pretty good experience sitting at the back of lorries.

And last but not least, the event many have been waiting for, our scouts’ AGM. This is actually the main thing of this post. It's the day I finally retire from my QM post. Handing over my post to the rightful successor, Well, I didn’t get the time to give the emo meaningful speech I wanted to give but well, I did say something I wanted to say. People always say I was inactive until form 4 but I think back, I realized I was never inactive. It’s true during form 3 I slowed down on my scouts a bit but I still came for troop meeting(Not all but quite a few), the recruits/junior/senior camp, all pioneering activities I know of as well as some service that I’m told of. During my form 1 and form 2 years I went for almost everything I could except for jungle camp and test taking.

I was this active and I’m told I’m only active in form 4 and form 5? Come on lar, I went for almost everything except jungle camp. I was all along there, I’m just not noticed. Ever since young, I’ve always wished for an opportunity to come for me to try to be a leader, a head. Form 1, sure I had a post during that year but I didn’t know anything. I was assistant treasurer in chess club in form 1 and nobody told me shit and I don’t know shit. I never got any post except for my cleanliness head post. It was pretty memorable but not at all training me. Form 3, I had nothing. Only until form 4, I get my QM post and Membership Director post.

How did I get those posts? It wasn’t my ability, it was because I’m noticed. People start to notice me. And how did I do? I did not perform well at all in my own post responsibility but I can definitely say I’ve done a fine job as a part of the leaders’ team. For the people who said I was only active in form 4 and form 5. Try recalling back, did you really not see me back in form 1,2 and 3? To be very honest, it’s actually very pissing off. I always want to give chance to people who are unnoticed but want to be something. It’s because I was there, it’s very saddening to be there.

There was even a point in form 3 I thought why am I so unnoticed and got emo. If volleyball didn’t come into my life, I’d still be stuck in that stage of sadness. I believe no one knows this about me. There are thing I don’t tell. There are many times I’m unhappy, unsatisfied but I take it. It’s not I don’t feel bad, emo, pissed off and stressed in things. It’s just I don’t say it out. You’re suffering, but it is no reason to cause any inconvenience or suffering to others. I’ll be posting up another post tomorrow with pictures.

Can’t be seen doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

Yu

Filler

Just to fill in before my next post which will come soon but not yet I shall do the tag from Chien Lung. I do have a lot to write but I wish to put my next post on hold first. So here goes the tag.

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.


1. At what age do you wish to marry?
I'd say about 30


2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
Hmm.... I guess play with friends?


3. If you have a close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
I would doubt that very much.


4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
I'll give up nothing. I don't need such thing and I won't really get fat anyway.


5. If you can have one dream to come true, what will it be?
I've got so many dreams ler... but if I have to choose 1 then well, I guess for all the people I care for to be happy:)


6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Who can in this era?


7. What do you feel like doing rite now?
Finish this post and go to sleep. It's 1.30 and I got school tomorrow ler.


8. What are you afraid to lose most?
Everyone I care for


9. If there is someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Depends. If I think it's time to then yeah.


10. Do you believe in fate?
Sure, why not?


11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Good hearted and the magical feeling for each other.


12. What are the things that will make you think he/she is bad?
Har? What kind of question is this? Bad things lar.


13. What is your ambition?
You know when we were small kids police was one of the very famous ambitions but until now I actually still do want to be police but then, I'm in Malaysia and I don't want to leave Malaysia. So well, there's so many jobs I'd like to take up. But well, book author, teacher and engineer would be my current plan.


14. Is anyone really perfect?
A perfect human is inhuman


15. If you have a choice to be rich or happy, which one will you pick?
Happy of course. I want to be rich cause I think it can make me happier so if I can be happy why need to be rich?


16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Until this moment I'd still say shy even though there are improvements on that.


17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Han Liang


18. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
10 years time? 27 years old... so I'll be quitting my job and full time invest my money on something while writing a book.


19. If the world is going to end one day, what would you do for the last 24 hours?
I'll tell the girl I love that I love her, spend time with all the people I love and at the last hour do all the dangerous things I've wanted too but dare not to.


20. Do you believe that highschool love can work out to last?
I believe it depends on the person, not the time.

I shall tag:
Jazli
Kin Meng
Zu Wen
Mathew

I shall not tag so many people. Lazy lar.

Sometimes even answering questions from a mere tag can make you realize something you never did.

Step Down

It’s already the 8^th month of the year. SPM coming near, AGMs either passed or coming soon, people are talking about college and universities. It’s not so far from the end of school life. Recently stepped down from my interact post and soon will be stepping down from my QM post. Inter-house games passed a few weeks ago as well, my last gold medal from school life.

Reaching this stage made me realize how much I have missed from form 1 until form 3. So many things I have missed, so many memories I could have gotten from all those years but I’ve wasted it. I guess that’s why I’ve been more active than others these 2 years. A lot of memories are made in these 2 years, many times I wish I could stay but we got to grow up. We have to move on to another stage of life.

Another thing I realized is I haven’t been doing a good job at all with my responsibilities. All these while I’ve been doing things but it seems most of it are not my own responsibilities. I’ve failed thoroughly as a membership director, I shall not elaborate on that. As a troop QM, I believe I have failed as well. I commit myself to scouts as a COH, as a PLC but not as a QM.

I did a lot of QM stuff, that’s a fact but what I’ve done is mere equipment maintenance. I used to believe I’m very suited for this post before I stepped up. After I did for a few months I realized I was wrong. Things usually won’t turn out the way you expect it to be. Never commit in too many things as well. It’s very natural to get exhausted.

Before I get my QM post I always thought if I have the chance to become the troop leader. I have always wondered up till now whether I had chance to or not. I also wondered what if I were the TL. I guess it all don’t matter anymore. It’s time to move for the next stage, to the next stage.

Don’t rest for the reaching end, move for the coming beginning

Yu