Sunday, March 23, 2008

Looking Back

Have you ever tried looking back to the start of your life until now? Have you ever thought what if something were to never have happened or never have appeared in you life? Well, I have numerous times and there happens to be a lot of people who happen to be really important in my life. The people who without I would’ve just been quite a useless person.

People who revolve around your life, even a person who told you only one statement could be very important in your life. Just one statement could make a very big impact in a person’s life. I’m glad that these people are in my life. I couldn’t imagine what I could have been without these people.

My grandparents, although one of them left me few years back, they’ve been really kind to me. They thought me a lot on their life stories and also passed down the kind heart to me.

My parents, how can I be here without them right? Well, my dad thought me a lot on his lectures. He’s a man who reasons and I respect him for that.

My brothers, without them I wouldn’t have done anything to improve my physical fitness. They guided me through my early stages of life. Fights are inevitable among brothers but in the end we’re still brothers who support each other even though we don’t show it.

Terrence Goh, my oldest friend. It’s been 12 or 13 years since we’ve known each other. Without him I’d just be an ordinary quiet student in my primary days. Following him has allowed me to not stay in the corners unnoticed. Though we aren’t that close anymore, he’s still a good friend of mine.

Teng Han Liang, we don’t go that far back compared to Terrence but we still go quite a while back. We go like 7-8 years back. I used to stay behind him in many things. He’s one of those who were noticed and having posts in many things while I was just some ordinary guy nobody knows. So all the while I was like being his assistant and get a bit noticed as well. Besides that, we shared ups and downs together

Lee Jun Hsien, we don’t go way back it’s just 3-4 years. I don’t recall us sharing ups and downs but instead he’s been helping me in my down times. He’s a real good friend of mine.

Chew Chien Loong, Lim Chong Sheng, Jerrard Leong, Kong Zhuo Li, and Jun Hsien. Our moments together as the school volleyball team this 3 years were priceless. We’re always buddies man. Other volleyballer, though we don’t go that far back, It’s still priceless our days training together and through MSSD.

Lee Kin Meng, Ong Dao Shen and Khor Zhi Yang. These 2 years in Ixora we’ve build up our friendship. Now we’re like 4 buddies in the corner. Especially Dao Shen who’s beside me, our thinking is like so similar. We’re definitely real buddies.

Caely See Yen Boon, she’s the only female who I’m actually writing. We’ve never been buddies in fact now I don’t know what are we. During my form 3 year I actually stopped my scouting activities but during form 4 years I actually followed her back into scouts. End up I found things that make me want to stay. I really have to thank her for that. Though the time we were actually friends who hangs out with each other was only a few months, those were great moments. I do hope we could be like last time but I guess it’s not possible but then I really hope we could at least be real friends. I know I always will take you as 1.

My other friends I could not possibly write all of you but well, all of my friends are important for me. Thank you I would like to say to all my friends and all those I wrote above. Without you all, I’m nothing.

YU

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Changed - Have I?

This blog has been left alone for a month now. It’s not because I’m busy although I have been busy in the past month. So basically what made me stop writing for a month? It’s the many things going through my mind as things happened. I haven’t been feeling right these days. To be honest I’m kind of lost. I’ve always tried to view far, look at the far end of things but I tend to forget what’s near. I try to be someone in the future but now, in the process what have I become?

I am a person lacking of self-confidence very much. I try to change that or at least appear to others as not but I’ve lost myself. I became arrogant. I didn’t realize that, I thought I only gained a little arrogance but didn’t realize it grew in time. Maybe people do see me as more confident but with the prize of having arrogance which causes dislike on people? I don’t want that.

I’ve been reviewing myself on ability too much that I’ve forgotten my personality. I’ve been to full of every ability of mine. That can’t happen and I won’t let it happen anymore. But however, I need help. I need to know what has gone wrong with me or what is always wrong with me, my personality. Just honestly tell me, I don’t mind bad comments. I just wish to know, that’s all. Thank you.


Damian