Finale

This will be the last post of this blog. I’ve always wanted the next phase to come as I believe the next phase is more suited for someone like me. However, I never wanted high school to end. I really love my high school life. Everything has to end someday though. High school has ended and now it’s time to look forth into college life and the upcoming phases after that.

I’ll never close this blog as it holds many of my memories and lessons from this year of 2008. There’s so much that I have learned this year. Honestly, I believe I have matured through this year. People mature through experience and experience is what I have gained throughout this very year of 2008. As for the memories, there are so much great memories this year.

The days in scouts with these bunch of people above, it was all great and memorable. Without them my life these whole year wouldn't at all be that amazing. I'm glad I spent those days in scouts. The memories and the things I learned from there are countless. I have no regrets joining you all.


The Taman SEA volleyball team. For half of the team, we trained a total of 2 years together. For the other half, even though it has only been months of training together it has bonded the 12 of us together. Today, we are no longer members of the Taman SEA volleyball but we remain as a team even at this moment. The moments with adrenaline pumping through our body in the games that we play, never will I forget them. I'm really glad I'm in the team.
JNJ, the newly made unofficial club. It started with only a few people and through these 2 years it has grown so much. Out of a sudden I am now VP2 of this club. The outing we had and the trip right after prom, it was really fun and memorable. However, JNJ is far from ending. It will continue through the upcoming years and maybe one day it becomes and official club that aims to benefit people? If there's a club that does that, why not us? Together, lets see the upcoming growth of JNJ.

Not forgetting my 4/5 Ixorians of 07/08 which amused me these 2 years. In the end, we were never a team. 2 years we spent sitting in the same classroom, had our moments of laughter together but we were never bonded together. I have always hoped that we’ll finally end up as a team but well, I guess it’s foolish for me to have thought it could. I don’t have a picture because I don’t have any photos with many of the class people.

Interact club which has thought we quite a lot of stuff and also opened my eyes to many things shall not be forgotten. It's pretty memorable as well the days I spent in the Interact club. It's cool that I was given the membership director post although I did not do a good job at all. However, I'm not longer an interactor and will not join rotaract nor rotary club.I am now a proud member of the Leo Club of Petaling Jaya Integrity and I'm glad I made this choice. Roar roar roar!!

Goodbye 2008!! Hello 2009!!

There's always an ending to everything

17-18

I started this blog at the beginning of this year. This blog marks the growth, experience and changes of me within this year of 2008. 17-18, the age I mark as the age of change. I abandoned my old blog and changed to this blog to leave what I was and to attempt a change on myself. Certainly I did change but the changes were only minor. Many thoughts have changed though which includes the desire to change. I never needed to change. I needed to stop holding back myself.

The end of the year is almost here. Together with it, the end of this phase and the end of this blog will come. It marks the beginning of my journey. It’s time to start moving. I used 17 years on the tutorial, now it’s time to get going. It’s time to start working for my aims and my dreams.

It begins here not because I believe this is the right time or anything like that. There isn’t a right time to do something like this. It is merely because I took 17 years of my life to realize, to learn, to figure out what I have to do to achieve things that I want. But well, at least I did.

Tutorial ends and the missions begin

Acknowledgement

Up till this moment I’ve achieved nothing worthy of acknowledgement. I’m just a slightly above average student. I have no big achievements in my school life. Whether in my academic, sports, club or uniformed unit I’m just at most slightly above average. I’m never considered to be anything near amazing. I always had the chance to but I had never reached out to grab the opportunities. I never dared to. Soon it’ll be phase and new sets of opportunities will be open.

It annoys me very much to be looked down upon. It so happens within my home that’s what happens. In many areas I may be incapable but can’t they just stop focusing on them and look at what I’m capable in? I got a freaking score of IQ 180 in the MENSA test for god’s sake. I dream to achieve more than just a high pay and good job. In fact, that’s not even near to what I want to achieve. It’s true I don’t have any inspiration to what I wish to create yet but inspiration comes in a sudden okay. Maybe stop discouraging and try to give me some idea?

Many people actually think my specialty is in mathematics. That’s quite stupid actually. I’m not good in mathematics. I’m not gifted with numbers at all. What I’m good at is not counting. It’s understanding, analyzing, interpreting and visualizing. Trust me. I’m capable of more than what most people know. Never underestimate me. I’ll feel insulted.

Never underestimate

Next Phase

It’s just a matter of days until the year ends. I’ve switched to this blog to leave my past and to change. Indeed many things changed with include me. Through time and experience people change. The age of 17 is a great experience. 17 is not over yet though but the year is going to. Many people asked me, will I create a new blog of 18-19 then? I’ll answer the question now. I will be going back to my old blog. I’m not going back to my past instead I’m going to use my past to create a better future.

My New Year resolution for the past New Year was to change into a more outspoken person. I didn’t completely fail but neither did I succeed. I did improve from what I was. My New Year resolution will not be the same as I know I will be able to soon. To change is not an easy thing. I’m not a quiet person in the first place so I don’t need to change, I need to show myself.

People tell me 18 is a year where everyone changes as everything changes. It’s a new phase of life. I don’t know how much I’ll change but I’m not going to classify it as an age of change. I wrote 17 as the age of change and I won’t repeat the same for 18. 18 will be the base to success. It’s the mark of the beginning towards making my life a success. I won’t name my blog name as such though. My blog won’t involve age, It’s just not important anymore.

Finally, the time is almost here. The phase of life where I believe I would prove myself. The time I want to let people know I’m more than what people have seen. It’s the time to reach my first mark of success. It’s the time to achieve what I call amazing. I’m not in any way boasting. I just believe in myself. Don’t believe in me? We’ll see in time.

Know what's coming and get ready

Picture from: http://www.needahandspanishproperties.com/sunrise-picture.html

Layers

I guess soon is not so soon after all. I’ve been either sick, busy or both together lately which doesn’t cause me to be unable but cause me to be unwilling to write a post here. I’m still having throat infection and cough at this moment. Coughing is pain with the throat infection and I feel pain drinking water. It’s a pretty strong pain by the way. Other than that I’m pretty alright so here I am writing this. As I’ve said in my previous post I’ll write about me and girls. Well, I don’t know if you get what I mean by that but I meant the difference of me with guys and with girls.

People who don’t know me would classify me as a very quiet boy. People who know me as in really know me will know I’m far from that. The outer layer of me is a quiet more serious person. The inner layer of me which all those who knows me would know is very full of crap and doing all kinds of stupid things. Both are the real me it’s just that the inner is the more natural one.

I’ve never attempt to do any thing I think would embarrass myself alone without any push. But trust me, if you ask me to do it with you I might probably do it. Even when I was a small kid I’ve never dared to do things I know or think I would end up embarrassing myself. I wanted to do them, but never dare to do it alone or without any push.

Now, besides the outer and inner layers there is the core. That would be where the feelings and all lie. Where the romantic and emotional me would be. It’s not a hidden part it’s just there’s no point for it in normal situations. I can’t say I’m a romantic person, I think I am but I won’t know cause well, there’s never a situation that I needed to be. Well, basically that’s it. It’s not a very meaningful post I know but now that I’m not so ill, I’ll be posting up again very soon a meaningful or maybe emotional stuff so stay tuned.

There may be much more than the surface

Love?

SPM is not over. That’s something everyone should be aware of. No matter you’re an accounts student or not, it’s not over yet. Do you feel a feeling of relief yet something seems to be stuck there? It’s not over yet that’s why. There’s still a part of you telling yourself, it’s not over yet. Another case of feeling it is that you already felt it’s over before the day. Due to the fact your last test is EST you’re not feeling as good as you expect to be. The relief came before it ended. That’s how it is. Now without further delay, I shall write the essay with the title my perfect future husband or wife as I’ve promised. In my case it’s my perfect future wife of course. And now, my essay commences.

Women and men, both are categorized as the species of human. There’s a known fact the women will never understand man and the same goes the other way yet they still wish to get together and spend their lives together. This is of course with the exception of homosexuals where the same sex gets together. The ritual where the two people get together would be what we humans call marriage. As we go through that ritual, we gain a wife or husband where we are supposed to be spending our lives together. In my case, it would be a wife. Then it comes to the question of a perfect wife. There are a few points that would make my future wife my perfect future wife

Firstly are characteristic that would be needed for my perfect future wife. To people who would say looks doesn’t matter, stop lying to yourself. Look does matter to a certain extent. You’re definitely going to have trouble facing someone whose looks displeases you for your life. My future wife doesn’t need to be very pretty. She doesn’t have to have a great body. She doesn’t need to be sexy. She just has to be pleasant looking to me. For body, I have to be honest anything less than fat would be alright for me. Chubby or round are not counted fat. Looks does matter, but it’s not that important as long as it’s within the range of acceptance.

Personality would be a very common point to be considered. For me, personalities are criteria we must take into consideration. For me, a perfect wife has to be a person who cares for people. A person with kindness in their heart is sufficient. I don’t require a wife who is gentle or anything like that. I require a wife who is kind and cares for other people. Whether she is gentle, rough or anything it doesn’t really matter that much. As long as she is a kind person, it’s enough.

Ability and skill is probably the least of my concern. It’s alright for her so have no special skill. It’s alright for her to not be successful at all. It’s also alright for her to have more abilities and skills compared to me. I don’t really mind. It’ll be perfect if she’s someone smart I would say. I would prefer a wife who is smart. Capable or not doesn’t really matter but smart would be perfect. It’s not a necessary thing though. It’s just something I would prefer to have.

The most important point for my perfect future wife is neither of those I wrote before. The most important point of all is that both of us love the true nature of each other. If I love her and she doesn’t really love me or the other way around, it wouldn’t be alright. Love needs to be from both sides. Love cannot be on the acting of a person. The love that exists must be upon the natural points of a person. Love cannot retain by pretending.

To have a perfect future husband or wife is of course the ideal thing for everyone but most of the time it just never happens. For me, my future wife doesn’t have to be perfect. The most important thing is the last point written in my essay. Both of us have to love each other. I believe one day I will find the fated girl whom I will spend the rest of my life with.

That’s the end of my essay. I would say it’s not a very good essay personally but I would say it’s a very true essay. It doesn’t only apply on wife, it applies on girlfriend too. Well, not that I’ve had any before. Next post will be coming up soon. It’ll be about the point on me and girls. Interested or not, just come back and have a look.

Love is what matters in the end.

Stars

Since it’s SPM season lets talk about SPM stuff. In my SPM English paper 1 there were 5 questions and there were 3 that caught my eye. The 3 questions were:

1. My perfect future husband or wife
2. Write a story ending with: “…Now I realize the value of a true friend.”
3. Stars

All 3 of them were essay titles I can write about but I stopped and think. I wanted to write a story as an essay at that time. I chose the 2nd one in the end. To rewrite my essay is quite a stupid thing to do so I’ll summarize my story.

It starts with me talking about my high school life where I have numerous friends and even until the beginning of my working life I still have these friends. One day I had tumor and need help financially for operation but all my friends backed away. They avoided me and refuse to answer my calls. I began to feel depression and rage. That changed my whole personality to a bad personality. Soon later I was banged by a lorry and went to the hospital. As a result I had my legs amputated. I reflect back on the words of an old friend in the hospital. The old friend suddenly appeared and I broke into tears. He helped me back up. I had operation and prosthetic legs then I was able to stand up again. And that’s when I realize the value of a true friend.

Such a dramatic essay isn’t it. Now let us start on my unwritten 2 essays. I’ll start with the 3rd one, stars.

Stars, the little dots of light twinkling in the sky at night. Stars play many roles towards the life of a person. One very significant role it plays is the Sun. The sun is one of the many stars we see although it appears very differently compared to the little dots we see of the other stars. However we cannot deny the fact that it is also a star. The sun provides light, energy and heat to the world. It makes our world inhabitable for organic life forms. Without this 1 star, we will not even exist. But all these are not what make stars as interesting as I feel it is. What I find most interesting about stars are the many myths behind it.

Many magical stories are told about stars. All of them are considered to be non-logical stories but still these stories are believed by many people. One of the favourite one is the transformation of your deceased loved ones into a star, a star that will brightly shine and protect you from high above. Many people choose to believe this story. It doesn’t sounds true at all but many people still believe or at least try to believe it. To see the death of people you care for is really painful. To believe this story is to get a comfort in your heart that even after death they will stay and watch over you as a star.

Another one would be the all time favourite wishing star. People will very naturally make a wish when they see a shooting star. A person is considered lucky to be able to see a shooting star as it is not a common thing and thus wishes at that time will have higher chance to be granted. This is one of the explanations given on this believe but of course this does not apply at all times. Many people also believe that the shooting star has some magic that can grant your wishes. However, no matter what is the explanation given, people choose to believe it is true. Wishing star is like a form of hope given when things seem bad.

People choose to believe to believe these unbelievable things about stars as stars are really a very big mystery to us. We see countless stars in the sky some brightly shining and some very dim but all we see are just dots. How do the stars actually look like? How did the stars come about? How are the stars able to shine so brightly? It is still pretty much a mystery to us. Not only is it a mystery but it is a very powerful thing to be able to emit its own bright light.

Believing the stories actually does help a person. To believe would make one able to accept unacceptable things and have hope when the world seemed to be pitch black. Psychologically a person would be able to do better with such believe. Whether or not the stories are true, it helps people one way or another. To believe or not to believe in these magic about the stars is your choice but stars will always be here waiting for you to believe in them.

The 1 more question will be done later. Think it’s stupid? I think it’s not so I don’t really care.

Stars, an eternal symbol of hope.

SPM

SPM is in a few hours and I’m still here writing out this post. I’m sure some people are going to think that I must be over confident or something. I can tell you I’m not at all. I’m not nervous as well. I know very well I can’t get straight As and I even have the chance to fail a subject or two. I’m also very well aware that it might cause a little trouble for me in the future but I’m not worried at all still.

Exam results never will determine where someone will stand in the future. Exam results only determine where a person’s starting point would be. That’s right we’re not even at the starting point yet. We’re only trying to get a good starting point at this stage of life. I’m very well aware that where I start will not determine where I’ll end. That is why I’m not scared at all.

After this exam my life will go to the next phase of this stage of life. The phase called college life. The phase where there will be different exposures. I’m glad this new phase is coming but there’re many things from the high school phase I wish to maintain. It’s quite a dilemma but life is just going to keep moving and you have to move with it. None can ever dwell in the same phase of life forever. We just got to move on with the flow of life.

Examination results are important because many people need a good start. A good start could give a boost to many people in what they do. For many people, if they don’t get a good start they could never climb their way up. The reason for that to happen is not because of capability, it’s whether one has the will to do it or not. When there’s a will there’s a way. It’s a very famous saying and it’s also almost always true. One never needs to be afraid or be to tensed up on their results. You could still reach where you want.

Exam results only determine where you start

Heart

Today I went for the Terry Fox Run. It’s a run to raise fund for cancer research. Terry Fox was a cancer patient at a very young age. His leg was amputated because of it. Even with his leg amputated he still started to run across Canada (He’s a Canadian) to raise fund for cancer research. Even though he did not manage to finish his journey but he managed to create such awareness that a Terry Fox Run is held every year in many countries across the world.

The reason for the respect people have for him and the reason people’s awareness are raised is because of his heart. His heart to run overcoming the difficulties he faced. Even through his dying days, his heart never broke down but goes stronger. People with great talent or with great skills are called amazing but people with their whole heart on something are even more amazing.

The results we can achieve with our heart in something are amazing. It matches people with great talents. Humans are a very amazing being. We are capable of far more greater things than what we can do now. With your whole heart on something this barrier can be breached. It may not be very deep but you can reach beyond what you normally could. That’s the first lesson learned from this run. Here are some pictures taken from the run.

Me and my bros before the run

Again

2nd brother and me only

That's only half of the people there

Of course there's got to be a picture of me before the run

Running

After the run

That's it.

With and without heart, it makes a lot of difference

Emotional

I don’t know if anyone even noticed but I’m actually very emo recently. I haven’t talked to anyone about it until just minutes ago and it’s only through sms. If you don’t care you can just screw this post. I just want to express it all out. It’s just all about me so actually I doubt you’ll gain anything reading it. So unless you care it is advisable to skip this post.

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot. About the past, what has been stopping me from achieving what I want in the past? On studies there’s nothing much about it. It’s just I didn’t want to put in effort. On co-curriculum, I’ve always wanted a chance to get a post but I never did. Why? It’s not that I’m not capable, but it’s that I’m afraid to speak up.

Coming closer to the present, I got the post I wanted. But because of the very reason I didn’t get my post there’s a lot of things I end up doing not well. Come to the present, I’ve improved a lot from what I’ve been but this very problem of mine still exists. Not only is it affecting the doing of works but also my social life. Actually my results of 5 A1 and 3 G9 may seem to be not much of a problem for me but the truth is it’s really given an impact on me. I’m still not getting over it until now. Every single time when people talk about trials results I seriously feel WTF. But I don’t know why I just cannot get myself to actually study. I really don’t know why.

Moving up to the future, the problem of not being able to speak up still exists and that will cause me to be unable to do many things. Another thing would be about my studies and career. I’ve planned out a few routes for myself but I have to consider a few things which are career opportunities, affordability, availability and also a few other factors. I really want to go study oversea because of the quality, availability and the acknowledgement of the degree they offer. But I don’t want to study oversea because I don’t want to leave Malaysia. Everything I have is here in Malaysia. And also, despite how I seem to be I actually think I’m pretty patriotic. I really feel an attraction on this country, my homeland. I want to stay here and also do something for it.

My MENSA IQ test gave me a result of IQ 180. So what? Yeah my mind is able to visualize, analyze and interpret more capably than other people. I’m able to catch many things more efficiently than others. I’m able to understand or learn many things easier than others. So what? I’ve been saying a lot about talent needs hard work but I’m the one who doesn’t put in the effort I need. I’m the one saying you to be confident in yourself and show people what you’ve got but I’m the one who is hiding behind my lack of self-confidence with some act. I’m the one who fear to speak out and tell people what I’ve interpreted out with my mind. I really don’t know how to overcome them. Aih….

Advice and doing are 2 different things

Dreams

When were still small kids we have plenty of dreams. As we grow up, these dreams are one by one lost. As we grow older there are many things we realize. There are many things we are able to see. When one dreams big everyone will think it’s only a dream that will remain a dream. Exceptions exists of course, if not there wouldn’t be so many dreams come true in the past.

The dream to fly, the dream of moving picture, the dream of talking at far distance and many other dreams, they were all what people thought will only remain as dreams. Today, they are all regular things in our life. There is nothing wrong with having big dreams. It is only wrong if you let your dreams remain as a dreams.

Dreams can come true but not naturally. Dreams come true with effort. Without pursuing you can never get anything. Go ahead and dream but don’t just dwell in it. Get moving and make it happen. Pursue for your dream and make it all happen. Dreams are meant to be pursued not just wait for it to come true. Dreams can come true, they just need someone to make it to and the person can be you.

Be the one to make dreams come true

Image from: http://blogs.grab.com/OpalRubyStar

Paths of Life

Every single person has their paths to venture forth in their lives. The first phases of life from kid to schooling until graduation, the paths are all merely straight roads. In this phase, the path everyone steps on is the same. The difference is how you walk past it unless you choose to abandon the path and get to another path which then will no be a straight path any longer. Of course there are exceptional cases where one can skip that path.

Up till today I’m still within this straight path but up till today I haven’t been doing well in this path. I never doubt my capabilities to walk better here. Up till today, everything I’ve achieved is a gift to me. Every skill I have is not something I spent effort to get. They’re all given to me.

Now, I’ve reached a point where I have to think beyond this path. It’s not that I have not thought about it. In fact I have thought about it countless times and to very far vicinities as well. I neglected close things due to that as well. My idea of how to walk this path is different from many including my parents. Due to that, I can never reach anywhere discussing my future with my dad.

Choosing paths is not about choosing a path that’s easy to walk. The consideration you should have in choosing a path is your own will. Never choose a path because it’s easy, choose a path because you want it. The path I choose will definitely not be easy but as said in my self description. I believe I’m special or at least going to be.

Paths are not chosen by difficulty

A Night Out

Many thoughts have gone through my mind throughout this absent time of me from this blog. These thoughts include those of the past, present as well as the future but then I decided not to talk about it here. I shall talk about something else in this post.

A few days back I went to the Ampang Lookout Point. They are the people I went with in the picture up there. I didn’t take many pictures and my pictures weren’t of good quality due to the rain so we had to rush. I was actually already sick that day but cause I’ve already said that I would go, I went anyway. It was really cool not just because of the lookout point but what happened throughout the night

There are many things you actually learn if you just open up your mind when you go out to places you’re not familiar with. It is always good to go places or do things you’ve never went or done before. What you learn from books may be useful but there are things that couldn’t be learned from books. Many important things can be learned even from a mere outing with friends.

Knowledge is more than just books

Success

What is the meaning of success? Success is to achieve what you aim for and what everyone aims for is different. Everyone’s success is different. For a person, success may be to get rich but for another success may just be to get a stable job with a good pay. It doesn’t mean one’s success is greater than another. It’s just everyone has different goals in life. People cannot tell what you need to achieve to be successful, you know yourself where you want to reach. You know what life you want to lead and to achieve it is what success is.

I actually wrote about success in my old blog and the meaning of success I understood is still the same. The approach on this topic however will be different. There are times where one gets lost on what they want to achieve. It is normal and it is fine. Just relax and take you time and look into your heart. What you really want to do. Eventually you will see the answer. I was lost myself a few months back but everything cleared up in time.

Many form 5 students are worried about not knowing what they want to do. I used to worry because I don’t know my interest and skills. As time passes I’m clear what I want to do. Other people wouldn’t be able to help you figure out your goal. Only you will know what you truly want. Look inside yourself, I’m sure you already have the answer.

I have 2 dreams that I really wish to achieve. My 1^st dream is to study in MIT. My 2^nd and most important dream is to create. I wish to create a new technology or product that gives big contribution to human race. I still haven’t figure out what exactly but somehow I can feel the idea is already inside me. It’s just I can’t get it out but I’m sure in time I can and will.

Achieve what you want to not what people want you to

Yu

Buddies

Buddies

I close my eyes and look back,
Looking 3 years down the track,
Back when we’re still distant friends,
Back when in between we had a fence,

Flipping by to 2 years down,
We’re people gathered all around,
Together we formed a single team,
We tried our best and tried to win,

Moving up to a year ago,
Together we went through high and low,
A very special friendship was born,
Together we formed a priceless bond,

Coming to the present year,
Through all hardships together we steer,
Together we go through our final days,
Before reaching another phase,

Soon we’ll head for separate ways,
Pursuing for what we dream today,
But our bond will never break away,
Our priceless friendship will always stay,

You guys know who you are lar so I'm not going to say anything.

Friends are important, buddies are irreplaceable

Suppress

How much negative feeling can a person actually hold within themselves? I strongly believe it depends on oneself. What’s the reason for one to actually suppress these feelings within themselves? That I would say is for shielding it from other people so they are not affected. Is it wrong to do so? I would say no.

People very naturally will feel positive and also negative feelings. Some will choose to express it all out while others will keep it. There’s a limit to how much a person can handle and when that limit is reached, well one will have to express it out somehow whether through actions or verbally.

Of course there’s a border before reaching the limit and the border will of course have a little sign but cross the border and there’s no turning back. Very naturally people will do things or tell people to bring themselves away from the limit again for example through talking to people and blogging.

Sometimes suppression of emotion is not a bad suggestion

Yu

Experience

I guessed I skipped one day. Wasn't that free yesterday with the 'larian merdeka' and the badminton finals. The badminton finals was really disappointing with Chong Wei not performing up to his own standards. Now, as I've written in my previous post I'll post up photos so here we go.

Here are some pictures from my job on Friday

Look at the tables, that's our job

And here's me posing with the tables

That's how we went, back of lorries or truck. They're in the truck, I was in the lorry in front.

The job was a pretty good experience with the lorry seating, seeing how they manage the table arrangement, seeing how they do such a big scale team building event, seeing there are many not so smart people and other stuff I can't recall right now. Compared to what you learn living and everyday life, it's much more educational.

Yesterday the 5KM run was a pretty fine experience. Obviously I was far from winning but well, as a person who don't train I'm pretty good. This two year I've been trying out every new experience I can. Through these new experience I get to change into who I am now. I'd stay in the static unnoticed person if I were to not change. But it's okay. Although I've missed a few years, I've change and I get to have things going now.

Pursue for experience and experience the change

Realized

From the post before my tag post until now a few very memorable things happened. First would be me, Jun Hsien, Zhen Ming, Jerrard, Jazli and Nicholas going to Taylors College Subang Jaya for a career talk. And then, the unforgettable thing that happened when I was parallel parking happened. No, I didn’t scratch my car even though I have slight difficulty with parallel parking due to my lack of parallel park experience. Well, something fell down from the sky onto my windscreen, tak! Do notice it’s a ‘tak’ sound not a ‘piak’ sound. The unknown object then fell onto the floor. Well, my first reaction was look at my window, see it dirty wipe before parking my car properly. Window is more important.

So what is this unknown object? We then found out, it’s actually a piece of chicken. See how wondrous the world is. Even chicken meat can fall from the sky. It gives us a very valuable lesson and a very good laugh in the end. Even the most unexpected things can happen to you at any time at all. And the joke, well the whole thing is the joke. Then comes the talk, well it didn’t actually make me want to get into the job instead make me want to reconsider more. Well, I’m not sure if it can get me where I want and what I want.

Next thing in the list, the RM50 job I did on Friday. It’s a very normal carry tables and chairs and set then up kind of job but we get to go to DIGI company campus. Not anyone can go in. It’s good to at least get in there and get some pictures. Well, the ‘we’ was Daoshen, Kin Meng, Fong Foo, Wen Chiang, Kar Sing, Chee Ken (The one who offered us the job) and well, me. It was a pretty good experience sitting at the back of lorries.

And last but not least, the event many have been waiting for, our scouts’ AGM. This is actually the main thing of this post. It's the day I finally retire from my QM post. Handing over my post to the rightful successor, Well, I didn’t get the time to give the emo meaningful speech I wanted to give but well, I did say something I wanted to say. People always say I was inactive until form 4 but I think back, I realized I was never inactive. It’s true during form 3 I slowed down on my scouts a bit but I still came for troop meeting(Not all but quite a few), the recruits/junior/senior camp, all pioneering activities I know of as well as some service that I’m told of. During my form 1 and form 2 years I went for almost everything I could except for jungle camp and test taking.

I was this active and I’m told I’m only active in form 4 and form 5? Come on lar, I went for almost everything except jungle camp. I was all along there, I’m just not noticed. Ever since young, I’ve always wished for an opportunity to come for me to try to be a leader, a head. Form 1, sure I had a post during that year but I didn’t know anything. I was assistant treasurer in chess club in form 1 and nobody told me shit and I don’t know shit. I never got any post except for my cleanliness head post. It was pretty memorable but not at all training me. Form 3, I had nothing. Only until form 4, I get my QM post and Membership Director post.

How did I get those posts? It wasn’t my ability, it was because I’m noticed. People start to notice me. And how did I do? I did not perform well at all in my own post responsibility but I can definitely say I’ve done a fine job as a part of the leaders’ team. For the people who said I was only active in form 4 and form 5. Try recalling back, did you really not see me back in form 1,2 and 3? To be very honest, it’s actually very pissing off. I always want to give chance to people who are unnoticed but want to be something. It’s because I was there, it’s very saddening to be there.

There was even a point in form 3 I thought why am I so unnoticed and got emo. If volleyball didn’t come into my life, I’d still be stuck in that stage of sadness. I believe no one knows this about me. There are thing I don’t tell. There are many times I’m unhappy, unsatisfied but I take it. It’s not I don’t feel bad, emo, pissed off and stressed in things. It’s just I don’t say it out. You’re suffering, but it is no reason to cause any inconvenience or suffering to others. I’ll be posting up another post tomorrow with pictures.

Can’t be seen doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

Yu

Filler

Just to fill in before my next post which will come soon but not yet I shall do the tag from Chien Lung. I do have a lot to write but I wish to put my next post on hold first. So here goes the tag.

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.


1. At what age do you wish to marry?
I'd say about 30


2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
Hmm.... I guess play with friends?


3. If you have a close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
I would doubt that very much.


4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
I'll give up nothing. I don't need such thing and I won't really get fat anyway.


5. If you can have one dream to come true, what will it be?
I've got so many dreams ler... but if I have to choose 1 then well, I guess for all the people I care for to be happy:)


6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Who can in this era?


7. What do you feel like doing rite now?
Finish this post and go to sleep. It's 1.30 and I got school tomorrow ler.


8. What are you afraid to lose most?
Everyone I care for


9. If there is someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Depends. If I think it's time to then yeah.


10. Do you believe in fate?
Sure, why not?


11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Good hearted and the magical feeling for each other.


12. What are the things that will make you think he/she is bad?
Har? What kind of question is this? Bad things lar.


13. What is your ambition?
You know when we were small kids police was one of the very famous ambitions but until now I actually still do want to be police but then, I'm in Malaysia and I don't want to leave Malaysia. So well, there's so many jobs I'd like to take up. But well, book author, teacher and engineer would be my current plan.


14. Is anyone really perfect?
A perfect human is inhuman


15. If you have a choice to be rich or happy, which one will you pick?
Happy of course. I want to be rich cause I think it can make me happier so if I can be happy why need to be rich?


16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Until this moment I'd still say shy even though there are improvements on that.


17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Han Liang


18. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
10 years time? 27 years old... so I'll be quitting my job and full time invest my money on something while writing a book.


19. If the world is going to end one day, what would you do for the last 24 hours?
I'll tell the girl I love that I love her, spend time with all the people I love and at the last hour do all the dangerous things I've wanted too but dare not to.


20. Do you believe that highschool love can work out to last?
I believe it depends on the person, not the time.

I shall tag:
Jazli
Kin Meng
Zu Wen
Mathew

I shall not tag so many people. Lazy lar.

Sometimes even answering questions from a mere tag can make you realize something you never did.

Step Down

It’s already the 8^th month of the year. SPM coming near, AGMs either passed or coming soon, people are talking about college and universities. It’s not so far from the end of school life. Recently stepped down from my interact post and soon will be stepping down from my QM post. Inter-house games passed a few weeks ago as well, my last gold medal from school life.

Reaching this stage made me realize how much I have missed from form 1 until form 3. So many things I have missed, so many memories I could have gotten from all those years but I’ve wasted it. I guess that’s why I’ve been more active than others these 2 years. A lot of memories are made in these 2 years, many times I wish I could stay but we got to grow up. We have to move on to another stage of life.

Another thing I realized is I haven’t been doing a good job at all with my responsibilities. All these while I’ve been doing things but it seems most of it are not my own responsibilities. I’ve failed thoroughly as a membership director, I shall not elaborate on that. As a troop QM, I believe I have failed as well. I commit myself to scouts as a COH, as a PLC but not as a QM.

I did a lot of QM stuff, that’s a fact but what I’ve done is mere equipment maintenance. I used to believe I’m very suited for this post before I stepped up. After I did for a few months I realized I was wrong. Things usually won’t turn out the way you expect it to be. Never commit in too many things as well. It’s very natural to get exhausted.

Before I get my QM post I always thought if I have the chance to become the troop leader. I have always wondered up till now whether I had chance to or not. I also wondered what if I were the TL. I guess it all don’t matter anymore. It’s time to move for the next stage, to the next stage.

Don’t rest for the reaching end, move for the coming beginning

Yu

Growing Up

A lot of fries? No? How about this?

I shall begin my story from start before reaching to these fries. So many form 5s I know has got their driving license already. Even though I don’t have my own car yet it feels really different being able to drive. It feels like I’ve reached another stage. The view and feeling as a passenger and as a driver is totally different. There are many things I’ve never understood about drivers I could today.

Today I can drive out myself, go to places at night and fetch people safely home. It feels like I’m almost reaching the grown up stage. Last Saturday I went 1u with the Leo gang. Me and Jun Hsien drove there. The week before me and Jun Hsien also drove people to the catholic campfire. We’ve been saying it really feels like we’re almost grown up, fetching people home and then drive home ourselves.

During our time at 1u and the curve we were enjoying our days before our adult stage. We went Carl’s Jr. for dinner and that explains the massive amount of fries. We parked at the curve walked to 1u and back to the curve. We spent the end of our night sharing dumb things.

Here comes a question, if you were in a mall. A girl sms you and ask you where are you and you happen to be in the same mall as her but she needs transport home. Plus, you drove to the mall and will be driving home. What would you do? As a guy, of course the only choice you can take is to fetch her home right? That’s what happened that night and it was like, finally I can do something responsible like that. It’s good to grow up, and it’s time to. It’s time to move on to the next stage.

Anticipate the next stage and step forward.

Yu

Poems

2 days back on Friday, we were asked to write poems by Mr.Mail. I don't actually need to write as I already have a few in my book at that time but I thought of a really good title to write about which is the title of my blog. Views and Feels. Basically it's about the whole theme of the blog. Change of view, change of feel.

Views and feels

Venturing forth on obvious roads,
Only on roads that’s seen up forward,
Walking on these same few roads,
Roads that’s always seen and heard,

Look left, look right,
Look up, look down,
Have a change of sight,
Look at the different things around,

A change of view, a change of feel,
Look around, so much can be found,
Look around, stop viewing straight,
You’ll see what you don’t see today,

A different sight to the eye,
A different thought to the mind,
A different feel to the heart,
Change your visions, look around.

As I was thinking of the poems I remembered I had to i liked pretty much from my old blog and here they are

16 Years of Life

Sitting quietly listening to a clock,
Listening as it goes tik tok tik tok,
Listening to the going by of every second,
Seconds that goes by every now and then,

Reminiscing the past I could never go back,
Events of the past that I can never reset
Regrets I have, satisfactions I had,
Many things happened in this life I led,

I begun with nothing turning to a baby,
Becoming a kid and changing to a teen,
Countless feelings in these 16 years,
Joy, Sorrows and not forgetting fears,

16 years and it’s the year of form 4,
Recent it may be but it’s the best of all,
A year of experience, a year of emotions,
Creating a man who could build up a nation,

Maybe all are destined by God,
But it doesn’t mean we can just sit and rot,
They're chances that are given by the Lord,
But it’s for us to choose to take it or not.

Things are gained, things are lost,
Many things changed including my thoughts,
It’s due to all the experience I had,
Experience that I will never forget,

Countless memories have flown away,
Some don’t even last for a day,
But these memories of age 16,
They will remain with me for eternity.

Rainbows

Rainbows in the night,
Rainbows in the day,
Rainbows are still at sight,
But their beauty is not the same,

When rainbows appear everyday,
It’s just multiple colors in the sky,
If rainbow appears never again,
It's magnificent beauty that just went by,

People dream of touching the rainbows,
People dream of walking on rainbows,
People dream of dancing in rainbows
But none dream of seeing a rainbow,

Rainbows are known as a magical beauty,
A beauty that appears all over the world,
Tales, stories, poems of this theme,
Very commonly written and told,

Rainbow Bridge a place for spirits,
Spirits of animals that lost their life,
A story that has gain popularity,
A story that might just be a lie,

Sunrays shining through water droplets,
An arc in the sky multicolored,
Magical stories are still created,
Where rainbows are the bridge to heaven.


They aren't amazing works of art but they consists of a great amount of my feeling. I think it's pretty well done for myself.

Your feels, your thoughts, just express them all out.

The Law of Attraction

Ever heard of the law of attraction? It’s actually quite true but to what extent I do not know. It basically means your thoughts, beliefs and emotions will create a change in the physical world based on the ‘like attracts like’ principal. Not everyone believes in this law. It’s not scientifically proven but it is known to many that it’s true. Of course it’s your choice whether to believe it or not

Negative and positive things don’t usually just come in one if you notice. Try thinking back your past, does it usually come in one? Well, for me it never did. When something positive or something negative happens it affects your emotion as well as your thoughts and that will bring forth another of the same type of thing.

Maybe you would wonder, why is that when things goes until a certain extent things usually goes the opposite way. The reason this always happen is when things goes too good or too bad people will think about the opposite side of things and thus the magic happens. So no matter what, think positive.

Good or bad, look on the bright side.

Yu

Change, Again

Here it is, the change in my blog. Does it look familiar? Well, it’s basically the same as my old blog except the header. It took me a few days to take a picture to put as the header. I didn’t have a theme before I took the picture. I looked everywhere as I walked and just took anything that gave me a feeling. If I wasn’t looking for a picture I wouldn’t have taken that picture.

The caption in the header, “Change of view, change of feel” is something I felt as I searched for the picture. My views were usually on the roads, shops, houses, cars or maybe people around when I walk around. As I change my view and just look up at the vast blue sky I realize there are actually many things you can see you can feel but you just don’t look there.

Just a change of view can change what you feel. How you look, where you look, that’s the thing that determines what you feel. A same thing viewed in a different view can give you a completely different feel. That is the theme of my blog. It’s of the change of views and change of feels I encounter and also a blog that might change your view.

Change of view, change of feel

Yu

Looking Back, Again

Somehow I can never get over my past. Recently I kept dwelling on my past memories. Always hoping that the good things could be the same now and the bad things could be different. Wondering what if the choices I made were different, what would happen to me this day? One single decision can affect the outcome of many things whether the decision is considered big or small.

It’s not always big things that affect our life. Small decisions determine many outcomes in our lives as well. But then there’s still no use to dwell on the past as nothing from the past could be changed. Even if there’s such thing as time machine, I still do not believe anything from the past could be changed. I believe that if you were to interfere, you already did.

Stop looking back, look forward to the future. Many people would tell others to do so but it’s not easy to actually do it sometimes. There are just some things that are very hard for us to let go. It’s actually fine to dwell in the past in my opinion. As long as you don’t let go of the future and the present, it’s alright.

It is okay to look back, just don’t forget the front

Yu

Desire

I’ve been pretty troubled lately. I kept thinking about one main thing. In general it’s explained in just one word, and the word is the topic of this post, desire. It’s not that I have too many desire I can’t get but instead it’s I start to lose track of what I actually desire. What is it that I actually want? What do I want to achieve, what do I want to get? I actually lost track of it.

I’ve been thinking a lot on what is it that I want to achieve in this school because I’ve been thinking too much about my future. Recently I realized, I don’t actually know what exactly I want to achieve. I’ve changed my plan for the future many times in these few years. I grew true every experience and every experience actually opened up a different view for me. The new view actually make me realized what I chose every time was wrong including this time.

To plan for your future is definitely a good thing. It’s a very advisable act among the secondary students but even though you seem to have decided, sit down and think. Is it really what you want, could it really work the way you want it to, what if it doesn’t go as you want it to. These are all considerations you should make before truly setting it as an aim. I missed these steps myself and now here I am confused after being seemingly confident with my future.

It's great to plan but plan with utter consideration

This blog will have a big makeover soon. Stay tuned for a new phase of the blog. As the current title of the blog says, 17- the age of change it’s time for the blog to go through a change.

Yu

Emotions

As I said in the previous post, my poems are expressions of my feelings and emotions but it so happens, all my poems seem to be of sadness. So that would mean I’m always sad? Honestly, I think my emotions are kind of screwed up this year. There’s just always a feeling of something bothering. There’s just some things I can never get over I guess.

Well, here’s a poem I wrote a few months back.

One

Once again it crossed my mind,
This one little thought of mine,
Messing up the whole of my heart,
With feelings that I can’t discard,

My thoughts turned a little insane,
Though the rational mind still remain,
Just because of one event,
Cause by a little thing I have done,

Mistakes are made by everyone,
But usually they’d be given a chance,
But not everyone could have this once,
Some not forgiven even through months,

Just this 1 wrong that’s been done,
Though the idea is far from one,
The thoughts alone is far from wrong,
But action matters more than thoughts,

Once again I see a rising sun,
Hoping finally it is real,
Shining away all negative rays,
Letting tomorrow be a better day.

Here’s another poem I wrote a few days back.

Visions Faraway

Countless visions came by,
All in just a short time,
All in just one short year,
Numerous changes had appeared,

Countless changes I can’t comprehend,
That’s forming mindset of becoming a man,
Finding the roads to success,
Finding ways to become the best,

Suddenly there was this day,
I realized my visions were too far away,
They’re thoughts heading the right way,
It’s just none of them are of today,

Viewing far viewing big,
That’s the vision I have for everything,
I tend to forget the nearest things,
All important things I should be doing,

I believe I’m great though I don’t know how,
Yet I feel so useless up till now,
Thought it’s not common that I frown,
It’s not happiness I feel deep down.

Whether it’s happiness or sadness it’s better to express it out than keeping it to yourself. It’s why I chose to write poems. There’s a limit to how much it can help but it’s better than nothing. Of course if you can, be optimistic. One lives a happier life being optimistic. One problem that messes up my emotions is actually thinking too much. It's good to think but there's isn't a need to think about everything.

Thinking could also be bad.

Yu